Monday, January 15, 2007

Bit 13. The Goodbye Van.


Bit 13, The goodbye van.

On Boxing Day, there was a most unusual occurrence in Jensen St, Edge Hill. Bitssy and Marmalade, in the front yard, were playfully teasing a cheeky little willy wag tail. The tiny black and white bird appeared to be jealously guarding a swarm of termites disrupted by a tropical storm and was most upset by the presence of a cat and dog in her vicinity.

Although Marmalade may have caused a real threat by fortune of being an advanced feline hunter, he was far too obese and lazy to take on tree climbing or termite tasting! And Bitssy, well, she couldn't hurt a flea. She just wanted to play, to be happy, to be free.

The little willy waggy was dive-bombing the friends every time they approached the front fence. In delight they would pretend run away frightened, hide behind a shrub, wait until the waggy settled, and then dash for the fence again. It was a great game. Great, that was, until Marmalade spotted Caramel staring at Bitssy hungrily from the roadside of the fence.

"That's right, Caramel," hissed the cat. "You stay on that side of the fence. You're not
welcome here. Stay there and make like you’re a termite mound. Be sort of enjoyable to see your antics when a termite crawls up your nostril."

Bitssy remained playing. She paid no heed of Caramel, felt no fear, and certainly did not have any hatred toward the poor yellow dog. However, Bitssy had noticed a white, smoke blowing van coming up the road toward them. Bitssy was fairly sure she recognised the smell of the disgusting pollution billowing from the exhaust but why would Caramel sniff onto anything that Bitssy attempted to warn her about?

Whereas Bitssy had no hard, bitter feelings toward Caramel, the same could not be said for Marmalade. That little orange imp sat as close to Caramel as the sparsely placed front wooden rickety picket fence (held together by rope and reef knots) would allow and gingerly licked the fur all over the inside of his back legs. Right in his private area! Elegance was not on the menu, but a hairball was! Yes, Marmalade, right beside Caramel's mangy head, coughed and coughed and gurgled. Caramel looked down her snout, disgustedly, at Marmalade just at the exact same moment that a slimy, stinky, stuck fur ball loosed from Marmalade’s innards and landed, fair between Caramel’s eyes.

"Why you filthy mongrel cat. I'm going to..."

"Got ya!" Down came the dogcatcher’s steel collar and stick. Click went the lock as she was reefed away from the fence and jarred into a dog cage. Terrified was Caramel. She squirmed and wiggled and tried to escape.

"Been chasing you for years, ya ugly mutt. Lucky for me that lady at 222 told me all about ya savaging her dog an’ threaten’en them kids. Figured you'd be caught off guard today, the day that all you mongrels think I'm going to put me stick up and drink left over Santa beers while I listen to the cyclone watch. Off to the pound for you now. And nobody's gonna come get you, cause you gotta be the most miserable excuse for a dog I've eva seen. Even them so called owners there in that house across the road don’t care about ya. Ugly stinkin thing, aren’t ya, under all ya pretty looks? Now get in me van. Ahhhh, ya filthy bugga. Ya peed all over me boot."
Bit 14. Caramel on Toast.

Bit 15. The Final Dreaming.

Eulogy.

To purchase Bitss of Caramel Marmalade on Toast please visit this eBay store: Duncan's Emporium Gifts and Curios. They are selling the book at only A$12.00 plus postage. RRP is $15.00 (+ p and h)

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Bit 14. Caramel on Toast


Bit 14, Caramel on toast

The big person stood at the front gate calling Bitssy.

"Come on girl. Ready for a walk?"

In one confident, strong leap, Bitssy cleared the side fence like a dingo on the hunt, dodged the ponging rotting limes on the ground as she ran around the side of the house, and headed straight through the gate leading to the world beyond the front yard. She sat patiently, yet excitedly, on the footpath while her big person attached a walking lead to her collar.

Marmalade had been away for over a month now, since New Year’s Eve, the longest they had been apart since they met. Although Bitssy pined for her best friend, she knew Marmalade would be fine and would not be starving to death. Marmalade wouldn't have liked to walk anyway, thought Bitssy. Walking was one of those social activities that Marmalade would avoid at all costs, unless of course there was a fat rat attached to the end of a stalking exercise!

Together Bitssy and her big person headed off down the street, stopping and chatting with children and big people alike. Whereas the humans were all talking about the newly formed cyclone in the Gulf of Carpentaria, the neighbourhood dogs all greeted Bitssy and gossiped to her about her having a dog’s life; a new year, a new freedom. Bitssy was happy, so safe, and so content that she wanted to puff up and become a butterdog floating over the world out front to ensure that all were safe from any potential dangers and cyclone threats.

As they approached the dog run park, the big person unhooked the lead and Bitssy galloped off to pursue a butterfly that she had spied on a tall tree. Just as she was leaping up to tell the butterfly that all was well with the world down here, an unfamiliar old bull dog bullied his way toward her. Without even checking if it was okay to approach, he went straight to smell Bitssy's butt. Bitssy calmly sat on the ground, looked him in the eye and said,

"No thank you, Bull. If you want to be friends you have to check with me first. This is my body, my space, and my world."

Old Bull, taken aback by Bitssy's assertiveness, snorted at her, and loped back toward his big person. Looking back over his shoulder, he thought,

"Now that's one sassy little lady. Hope my grand puppies grow up like her."

Not upset or scared by Bull’s intrusion, Bitssy wandered back to her big person. The big person was listening to the weather on her mobile phone. Bitssy looked around at the sky and found it hard to imagine that on such a fine and beautiful day there could be a cyclone anywhere near them. The big person’s hearty laugh brought Bitssy back to park reality and she looked lovingly into her big person’s face.

“Oh Bitssy,” she chuckled, scratching her behind her ear, “the cyclone was named Tropical Cyclone Caramel and the last alert has declared that Cyclone Caramel has been downgraded to a storm in a teacup that will not pose any threat to any area.”

Still laughing to herself, the big person made to go. Looking up at the sky, and around at the park, the big person mused to herself,

“Yes, all is fine with the world.”

Bitssy, encouraged by the safety message and humoured by the biting wit of calling a blow away cyclone Caramel, leaped up to place her front paws on her big person’s shoulder and swiped her hot dog’s tongue across her face.

“Yes, big person, all is well with the land and my many friends. Caramel always tasted best on toast, so let’s go home and wolf some down.”

Bit 15. The Final Dreaming.

Eulogy.

To purchase Bitss of Caramel Marmalade on Toast please visit this eBay store: Duncan's Emporium Gifts and Curios. They are selling the book at only A$12.00 plus postage. RRP is $15.00 (+ p and h)

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Bit 15. The Final Dreaming.

Bit 15. The Final Dreaming

Far away from Cairns, in the middle of Cape York Peninsula on a dusty, wild, Australian cattle station, Bitssy’s mother lay down in a shaded, dry, creek bed to rest. She had been out checking the fences with her Aboriginal ringer, the manager of Boundreesafe station. He hadn’t asked her to come along but he always welcomed her company. Her long years of service had meant that she could now relax and be a verandah dog: a cherished addition to the homestead. But Marnsy always ignored the privilege. She was a working dog and she loved to be out with Sam. Lagging behind, she needed to rest a little just to get her breath back. Parrots and huge black cockatoos played in the trees above her. Their coarse cries were a bush lullaby and the tired old mother soon drifted peacefully into the land of dreams.

Within her sleep space, cattle, dust and flies crept over her mind, beckoning her to awake. But she was so tired, so very tired. One more minute she thought, just one more minute’s rest.

A large grey dog stood in front of her. His eyes were like coals from the night fire, glowing and pulsating. Mother Marnsy jumped up, her tail low and her ears flat against her head. Slowly, the hairs along her back rose clearly showing her displeasure at having her space invaded. Marnsy’s growl, low, deep and long, pushed from her mouth like a mouse scurrying for cover. Her stare fixed on the huge furry grey intruder with the strange eyes. Her body told him that she was a force to be reckoned with.

The furry grey dog threw its head into the air and let go a haunting howl. The howl went on for longer than Marnsy could hold her breath and its tone reached deep into her soul to quieten and caress her lovesick spirit. Magically Marnsy settled, her early warning signs flattened down as though the wolf had poured oil onto swirling, snapping water to feed and calm it. She dropped
willingly and obediently to a waiting position in the dirt.

“A wolf,” Marnsy said aloud to herself, curious and unafraid. “A wolf in the outback. You’re out of place here. Why do you come, brother?”

The wolf ignored Marnsy’s question. He turned his back to her and howled in the direction of the sun beaten, dying, riverbed scrub. Marnsy felt duty-bound to follow the direction of the howl. Looking toward the edge of the scrub, she saw a vision. Her weary old heart jumped like a playful pup chasing a tennis ball. Her mouth, nowadays usually closed and sad, broke into a grin that slid down over her body and turned her into a young cattle pup again.

“Bitola Pride,” she whispered through smiling teeth, “my husband.”

Bitola Pride walked slowly toward his earthly wife. The strange white glow around him made him look like the shining top star of the cattle-rounding world that he was in his younger years. Unable to hold her eagerness, Marnsy galloped toward him and leapt, in a puppy fashion, eager to hug the dog she loved more than raw kangaroo meat. But she jumped straight through her heart’s desire. Marnsy, upset and showing it as anger, thought that the wolf must have been teasing her. She spun around to face him. Crouched low on the ground, growling wildly, every hair spiked as if greased, Marnsy’s body warned the wolf that she would have his testicles as souvenirs.

The wolf blinked at Marnsy and howled his disapproval at her. Not worried by the wolf’s louder and stronger howl, Marnsy prepared herself for an end-of-the-world battle.

“I will die for the memory of my loved ones,” barked Marnsy. “I will die with their names on my lips. Give me my dreams or one of us will become food for the dingoes.”

The fiery Australian sun high in the sky suddenly and magically sucked brightly into a single flare like the Olympic flame. It coached the mottled light in the dry creek bed toward it like a cockroach sprinting from a can of Mortein leaving an arena of night. The only eerie glow left to light the dusty creek bed came from Bitola Pride and the wolf.

Not scared, for she was a brave old dog, Marnsy widened her eyes and looked from one to another. Both dogs were glowing, calmly watching her. Marnsy’s mind raced. She had heard campfire stories about Min Min lights and fantastic dreamtime creations. Dreamtime stories! That was it. This was a dream that was trying to tell her something.

Marnsy stood tall and proud beside her husband. Her love for him created a glow of her own, a glow that would have been visible from outer space. After a long, loving look toward her dead husband’s ghost, she faced the wolf and her head nodded to say that she was ready to receive his message.

Images of Bitssy from a brand new pup to an older Bitssy standing up to Caramel, flashed like gold through a pan in Marnsy’s mind. The wolf showed the cattle dog couple, one of who had been savagely killed before Bitssy was even born, that the pup had developed into a strong, safe and sensible dingo who was succeeding in her city life. A dingo who could recognize her own body as a sacred space that deserved protection. A dingo who would lead the way by showing others that speaking up and body ownership are important issues. A dingo who allowed her own wolf voice to show her how to flush out the prized catch of freedom: body ownership that no one else had the right to interfere with. A dingo who listened to the voice of her dreams and found the howl that needed to be heard. A dingo who stepped through the door of fear and was greeted with a mat of acceptance and support, not only from wolves but from the big people around her too. A dingo whosedreaming had saved her life.

Marnsy’s heart was as light and fluffy as a freshly washed puppy. She knew her Bitssy would go far. Her special pup, sadly born of a violent encounter with Australia’s feral killing machine, was a dingo out of place in an unfamiliar world. She knew that if Bitssy had a chance to go to the city that the obvious looking inbuilt dingo killing genes would be refocused to a useful purpose. She would become more like the father that she should have had.

“I have done the right thing,” Marnsy said to the wolf and Bitola Pride. “I have missed my baby, but she is an Indigenous leader, a link between the dreaming of the Cape and the violence of the city. My Bitssy has shown that plenty of space can be found wherever she goes. She will carry the wide-open country of her homeland in her heart and let it shine through her body. It is her dreaming to fit big space into her body space.”

Bitola Pride looked lovingly to his wife as he settled down to peace, in the earthy, familiar, country of his youth. Marnsy joined him in the dust and closed her eyes to savour a final dreaming with him.

Whistling for Marnsy to come, Sam Boundreesafe began to wonder where she had run off to.

“That old dog one good tracker,” he laughed to himself. “She gonna round up dem clean skins probly an bring em to me. I bin thinking that she be real manager of all this country. That dog got one good nose for seeing. She like a spirit dog. Good medicine dog. I gunna give my dog sum dry tucker and tell her she good. Real good dog, like my best mate.”

Deciding to have some tucker himself before checking out the front fences, Sam headed his horse toward the creek bed to boil the billy. Entering through a well-worn cattle path, he came face to face with Marnsy’s body lying stiff in the bull dust. Her earthly form had been invaded by thousands of meat ants, hungrily searching out breaks in her skin to begin their carnivorous assault. Flies were swarming her face and crawling into crevices and holes that now stared blankly ahead, unmoving and unaffected by the harshness of the bush food chain.

Sam jumped from his horse and ran to help her. While checking her body for snakebite, the grief began to tremble in his hands, shoulders and legs. To the silent wild life watching mournfully from behind, it looked as though he was shaking Marnsy awake. The rousing dingoes, sensing something was wrong, sniffed forward toward the creek bed scrub. Hiding behind the trees they noiselessly watched Sam, sitting cross-legged in the dirt, rocking Marnsy in his arms and wailing an Aboriginal corroboree song to help Marnsy’s spirit find her dreaming ancestors. The wild native dogs smelt Sam’s tears and knew that Marnsy was dead.

In a single dingo chorus of respect, a howl covered the wide-open space like an envelope over a sympathy card. The howling message stick sounded deep in the hearts of every human and animal body within the fences of Boundreesafe station. The knowing settled over them like a cape of dreaming. A special dreaming that would be worn to remind future generations about body boundaries and inner wolf strength. Marnsy’s life, and death, had given them all the gift of knowing.

Eulogy.
To purchase Bitss of Caramel Marmalade on Toast please visit this eBay store: Duncan's Emporium Gifts and Curios. They are selling the book at only A$12.00 plus postage. RRP is $15.00.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Eulogy (last chapter of Bitss of Caramel Marmalade on Toast)

Eulogy
n. a formal expression of praise
WordNet (R) 2.0, (C) 2003
Princeton University

WARNING WARNING: This is the uncut eulogy to the tomcat’s riddles and to the Bitssy and Marnsy learning. This eulogy is M15+. If you could not stand the sight of Caramel toilet sausages, or you cried alone at Marnsy’s death, DO NOT read on. You may be too sensitive to receive the dreaming: not ready to take your place beside Bitssy in the Dog’s Body Army.

Marmalade may have appeared to be an innocent, yet daringly cheeky, tomcat. Don’t be fooled. Marmalade was, and remains, that great blob of fat that WILL block your veins and demand your attention to speaking up when things are making you sick! The situation that he and Bitssy found themselves in deserves your full anger, your immediate attention to changing your life if a Caramel person won’t let you onto your own front verandah. Marmalade’s riddily catastrophes are the key to flushing that smelly bowl that may have bits of left over Caramel toilet sausages floating in your toilet! Too scared to go there for fear of vomiting and running away in terror, you will not just flush it away, you will hold, hold, hold, until you explode! Oh, no! Not good. You have to do something different now!

Did you know that far too many children are not allowed to have their own private body space? Caramel monsters, who often look sweet and just like everybody else, control and hurt them. The monsters invade their body space and trick everyone around into thinking that they are sweet and wonderful. Some of those monsters even touch the children’s private parts (the parts covered by swimming costumes like Cindy and Matty had on) and tell them that it’s okay. Before you ever get into this situation, remember what Bitssy had to slowly learn from Marmalade: my body, my home, my space, my privacy! If it does happen to you, it is not your fault. Remember what Bitssy said: “This is my body and I will take it where I want without fear of you, or anyone else hurting me. I will tell, and my big person will help me.” In our human world it is an adult’s job to protect children so it is never, ever, your fault.

Bitss of Caramel Marmalade on Toast is about body ownership. It is the first in a
series of five books about keeping yourself safe. In this story Marmalade teaches Bitssy about boundaries and speaking up. While this book may give you some ideas, you need to practise doing things differently, and never lose sight of your dreams. Remember that your body belongs to YOU! You have the right to take it safely wherever you want without fear of anyone hurting you. If someone does hurt you, do a Bitssy: tell someone!

So what else did Bitssy learn from Marmalade? He was such a tricky little devil and his riddles in Bit 4 made me want to stamp my foot and demand an answer to foreboding catastrophes NOW!

Because I’m the author, I can cheat and tell you what Bitssy learnt. So listen up everybody, here we go:

Catastrophe 1: Talk up will you, your bark is much worse than your bite, it just
doesn’t exist! Marmalade was trying to get Bitssy to understand that she was keeping her thoughts and her fears to herself instead of shaking them out and facing them, dog to dog. When you keep fearful thoughts inside your head they become scarier, jumbled and stuck: stinkin’ thinking!

Whereas dingoes can bite, they cannot bark. Marmalade had to find a different way to make her point about telling. By throwing Bitssy a riddle about dingo
barking, Marmalade was sure that Bitssy would think about trying to solve it. Bitssy did! She found her hidden howl, and developed the courage to tell Caramel to stop, to leave her alone. She made it clear to Caramel that she would tell. Well done Bitssy, you’re the best. I want to be like you when I grow up.

Catastrophe 2: Learn to recognise a reef knot. It’s a strong boundary knot that will help to pull you, and me, out of trouble. Ahh, wise Marmalade. He used one of the seven great wonders of the natural world, the Great Barrier Reef, to help to teach Bitssy about barriers and boundaries. Bitssy lived in Cairns, a beautiful place in Australia right on the Great Barrier Reef. Marmalade knew that Bitssy would understand that the reef acted like a safety knot of coral, protecting fish and other sea creatures from danger.

Like the Great Barrier Reef, fences, maps, and globes show that every house/suburb/state/country has a boundary. The boundary shows the body of the country. Most of these countries have armies that help to protect the boundary. Our fences and clothes are like an army. They help to protect our yard and our body and give a sign to people that certain parts are private – the parts inside the fence and the body parts covered by our underwear or swimming costumes.

Bitssy, once she was brave enough to play in her front yard, saw that the fence was held up by a series of reef knots. This made Bitssy think about the idea of safe space: a space that had a barrier around it, a boundary that other people cannot cross without being invited. Thinking back to the riddle and other Marmalade stories about fences, clothes, and farmers’ trucks, Bitssy got it!

Bitssy got that she had to learn how to recognize not only danger, but also things that would help her to be safe and pull her free from things that may harm her. Reef knots are used to tie two different sized ropes together. It would make sense then to use two different ways of getting help. Bitssy chose to use her mouth to tell, and her support people to help interrupt and stop the danger. Pretty smart, hey! Bitssy’s Dog’s Body Army didn’t stop telling. They made sure that as many dogs as possible knew what the situation was. People can keep telling too, until somebody helps. How did Bitssy say it?: “I will tell.”

Catastrophe 3: Being scared doesn’t stop you from doing things, you just have to do them differently. Although nobody knew, Marmalade was scared of Caramel too. Marmalade was determined, though, that he would not have a bully control his movements and stop him from enjoying his life. Remember when Marmalade jumped into the farmer’s truck? The alarm went off and scared another life out of Marmalade. He even ran away from the treasured rat he was hunting! From that one experience, Marmalade learned that there was more than one way to catch a rat. He just had to do it differently without interfering in anybody else’s rights.

Everyone feels scared at some time. It is a normal feeling, an early warning sign to tell us to pay attention because something is not right. What most people do is think about whether their fear is real or imagined. They sort it in their head and find someone to help them. Fear was controlling Bitssy’s movements though. It froze her brain and kept her chained to the same spot. It was ruining her life. She had failed to recognise fear as an early warning sign that could lead to help and instead allowed it to stop her from doing what she had the right to do.

By suggesting to Bitssy that there were different ways to do things, Marmalade threw Bitssy a bone to chew on. Bitssy began to try different things, to tell herself that she was ready to be more wolf like. She learnt that the wolf inside her dreams was really a part of her: her power and her help. Although it took some time, Bitssy was able to make a thinking shift in her mind that allowed her to break free of the heavy fear that was squashing her, and instead face it square on. Bitssy stopped being so bone headed! A strange dream of a dog from another country (a wolf) seemed out of place to her. She was an Australian dingo. She was different. That’s it! She would be different from now on.

Doing things differently always seems strange at first. Speaking up about things can be as hard as learning a different language. But Bitssy stuck with doing things differently and she won in the end. Congratulations Bitssy. You deserve another Private stripe as a reward. Ohh, but two stripes makes a corporal. Private Bitssy is moving up the ranks of success.

Catastrophe 4: Dream aplenty so that Catman-do and din-go anywhere they want. Ahhhh, the dreams. Dreams are wonderful. Dreams are our body-mind’s way of working things out. Some people don’t listen to their dreams and they miss out on learning some really helpful information. We all have wolf like messengers inside us. Bitssy’s wolves kept coming back until she finally realised that the wolves were part of her. They were her body’s way of telling her that it was time to be different, time to listen to her inner voice and to growl back at monsters, real or imagined ones.

With the help of her dreams, Bitssy and Marmalade got to play together in the front yard. The nightmare struggle was worth it. Bitssy took that dream power from inside and her life became a living dream: a dream of checking that all was well with the land and her many friends.

The wolf and the wolverine, the dream picture of the reef, the water wolf, the fear eating goannas and the sharks and crocodiles were all part of Bitssy’s inner strength desperately trying to fight her fear. Because Bitssy was ignoring her strength in her waking hours, her strength had to visit her in dreams and give her hints about what she could do. The pack of wolves, loosed from her throat and snapping the world to attention, was Bitssy speaking up, taking back her power and speaking out about wrong.

Marmalade had been watching Bitssy for weeks before he was bold enough to drop into her garden. Marmalade needed to be sure that Bitssy was a kind dog, not a dog that would eat cats. Hidden in the orange shrubs, Marmalade would watch Bitssy play and sleep. He knew that Bitssy dreamt because he would often see her legs jiggling like she was chasing a butterfly.

Marmalade felt sorry for Bitssy, jailed to the back yard, and saw that Bitssy needed some assistance to make her go-anywhere-to-check-the-world-is-safe dream come to life. Marmalade was so lonely after his years of wandering homelessness that he really wanted to be friends with Bitssy and play with her in the front yard, as well as the back. Marmalade knew that he would enter the front yard (Cat-man-do) and he so wanted to encourage Bitssy to join him there and wherever else (Din-go) they decided to investigate. By putting together a riddle about dreaming and doing, Marmalade knew that Bitssy would eventually make her dreams reality and start acting as though she was a go-anywhere-I-want-safely dog (Din-go).

The visiting grey dream wolf at Marnsy’s deathbed showed her that Bitssy had learned wonderful lessons and was now truly free. The dreams were part of Marnsy’s inner wish to make sure that all was well. Marnsy wouldn’t die until she knew that her Bitssy was safe and really had become special. Recognising her own inner needs in a dream, Marnsy died happy and content. Sad, yes, but now Marnsy was free too. Her baby had not developed a dingo’s need to senselessly kill, and her husband was waiting for her. This is what Marnsy wanted: peace.

The pictures from Marnsy’s death and Bitssy’s life have given us different meaning to dreams. Dreams of wolves will no longer be scary. They will be understood as messengers of personal power and strength, passed from one person to another, to allow everybody the right to go where they want without fear of being controlled by Caramel monsters. And Caramel monsters? Well, let’s just say that anybody who tries to invade your body space deserves to end up in the pound with Caramel. Bitssy is still around, spreading the message, telling her story about dreaming, speaking up and taking back the power. If there’s anyone out there who’s planning a Caramel take over, be warned. Bitssy’s told the world to tell: to not fall for your sugary lies. And tell we will. We want sweet dreams, not diabetic comas!



Bitssy, we salute you.

To purchase Bitss of Caramel Marmalade on Toast please visit this eBay store: Duncan's Emporium Gifts and Curios. They are selling the book at only A$12.00 plus postage. RRP is $15.00.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Bitss of Caramel Marmalade on Toast: A Chapter Each Day

Self help books and books for children that can be used as bibliotherapy have been on my mind since writing Can Any Children’s Book Provide Advice? Although I set out the steps for using any book as bibliotherapy in “Are children’s books providing them with enough advice?” I appreciate that some parent’s will still be cautious about choosing a book to help educate around child sexual abuse prevention.

Therefore, I have decided to publish a chapter from “Bitss of Caramel Marmalade on Toast” each day until the whole book is published on this blog. "Bitss of Caramel Marmalade on Toast" is for teaching children, and adults, about Body Ownership. Body Ownership is the first element of personal safety in the BITSS model of Protective Behaviours.

Chapters begin (in reverse order) tomorrow. I’ll post every day, including over the weekend. In 17 days you will have the entire book to read to your children to help them develop skills of child sexual assault prevention.

If you would like to purchase a hard copy of the book, contact me through Child Protection: Serious Business or you can buy directly from St Luke’s Innovative Resources.

Happy Reading and imaginif…play protected our kids.

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Can Any Children’s Book Provide Advice?

Yes. The process of providing advice through books, any book on your bookcase, is called bibliotherapy. While expensive self-help books, with structured steps for life improvement, are a form of adult bibliotherapy, quality junior fiction offers a range of problem solving options for our children.

The advice contained within children's literature is only as good as the parental involvement of structuring follow up activities toward integration of the child's need for advice or social information. This need could centre on sexual abuse protection, bullying, fear, temper tantrums, disabilities or any other concern of children.

To turn children’s fiction into helpful learning, follow the nine easy steps of bibliotherapy.

You don’t have to buy self help books – you’ve already got them.

What book are you reading your child today?

Monday, January 8, 2007

Chatterbox Play: A Touching Experience.

The concept of good touch/bad touch can be difficult to explain to children.

Here’s two more play ideas to weave into everyday protective play.

Chatterbox: Make a chatterbox out of a square piece of paper (for instructions, click here). Most children know how to make one so ask the experts for assistance here! On the inside faces, include statements about good touch/bad touch. Children love a bit of rot so don’t make it all serious. Put something like, “You cuddled a koala and it pooped on you. / Boo Hoo, Poo Poo”. The aim is to get it into the child’s head that sometimes, good things turn to bad things and that it is okay to react when this happens.

Miming: When the children are bored and ask you what they can do, as a fun alternative to suggesting they clean their rooms, play a miming game, similar to Charades. Mime out a good touch that turns to a bad touch and then mime going to tell someone what has happened. The good touch/bad touch mime does not need to be around abuse. It could be greet kissing a friend who has very bad breath and the kiss turns into a breath holding session. If you choose to mime a cuddle that turns to a sexual touch please follow it up with a discussion about body ownership and the importance of telling someone what has happened.

If you would like to know more about Protective Behaviours and the BITTS model of Protective Play, click here.

If you have some protective play ideas, I'd love to hear them. Don't be shy, share them and help children and families all over the world.