Bit 8, Poison snake catches a rat on the front verandah.
Marmalade and the big person sat together in the swinging love seat on Bitssy's front verandah. Caramel was there too, warily keeping her distance while she judged the situation to see if the big person was a threat to her. The big person stroked Marmalade and talked to him about all the yummy food he had missed. She told him about the left over trifle from a special birthday dinner, about how Bitssy gobbled the leftovers and slept for hours in the mud hole under the house. Marmalade encouraged the storytelling by rubbing himself against the big person and purring as loud as an overhead plane.
Caramel confidently approached the big person for a bit of a rough up. She had decided that she would be able to fool the big person into liking her and that she would soon have her eating out of her paw. Yes, she could groom her into accepting that she was a lovely, sweet dog, in whose mouth butter would not melt. Just as the big person extended her arm to give Caramel a neighbourly head rub, Marmalade sprang to life, his four feet together, tightly, hair on end like an Echidna’s spikes, back arched, and hissed like a volcano letting off steam. Caramel and the big person stopped, a little taken aback by the interruption.
Nothing. Caramel took another step toward the big person, her phony smiling face looking all innocent, and Marmalade released his full meaning of the interruption. He struck and spat. His chubby little front leg was like a deadly snake striking, quick and purposeful. He didn't actually strike Caramel, didn't want to hurt her, just provided her with an assured, "No. This is our boundary. You won’t trick me with your slimy, friendly behaviour."
Nobody was sure what to do. Marmalade skillfully used his body signs to make it clear that he meant business, that Caramel had no place near the big person. Still arched with his hair on end, Marmalade began a continuous, low growl. Cowardly, like the yellow marshmallow that she really was, Caramel hung her head, tail between her legs, and stepped off the verandah. She walked around and around, softening up a patch of grass, shot a deadly look toward Marmalade, and plopped, seemingly dejected, onto the ground. A low toned “grrumph” escaped from
Caramel’s snout like the noise a child makes when they discover there are no Smarties left in the packet.
The big person laughed. She flung her head back, opened her mouth wide, and laughed. The fillings in her back teeth looked like little silver fish and Marmalade wondered whether he should jump in and catch them.
"You tell her, Marmalade. This is our space. Go boy. No body gets to touch my body while old Marmalade’s around."
Marmalade quickly reconsidered that he probably shouldn’t jump into the big person’s mouth for a fishing expedition, and the big person smoothed Marmalade’s crinkled spiky hair.
“That Caramel’s got more front tooth than a carnivorous rat, hasn’t she Marmalade? I think she’s just run into the rat trap though.”
Placing her beer on the side table, she used both hands to cup Marmalade’s head and kiss his velvety little nose. Craning her neck to make eye contact, she looked back toward Bitssy, alert and silent on the inside of the front screen door.
"Hey Bitss, what did you think about that?"
And think Bitssy did. She had soaked up the entire scene, soaked up how confident Marmalade was. He was like a bus sticking to its timetable. Most curious though, was that Marmalade had the full support of the big person. Even though the big person did not dislike Caramel, she just seemed to understand that Caramel didn't belong there and couldn’t do bad things on Bitssy’s front verandah. Despite Caramel’s sugar coating, she knew there was stale, mouldy bread underneath.
"Meow, come on Bitssy. From out here you can see the undertaker birds poking the ground for grubs, the flying foxes swooping for choice positions, and you can see those kids across the road playing in the pool. Come on out to the cool world, Bitssy."
Poor Bitssy. She quivered with excitement, and wanted to bound through the door, but Caramel was still there. Still waiting to sweetly destroy her, lick her lips and walk elegantly back across the road as though nothing had happened. Despite the believable feeling of the black, offensive, stinkin’ thinkin’ that was clogging up Bitssy's mind, she kept trying to convince herself,
"This is my home, my space, my privacy. If anything bad happens I'll just tell my big person and Marmalade. They'll help me."
Cross-eyed and exhausted with fighting her own unbearable dark thoughts, Bitssy opted for a nap. All of the strange feelings inside her were just too big and heavy. They made Bitssy feel as though she had run a marathon, in the middle of a thunderstorm, ducking the lightening strikes and being crippled by the deafening thunder. Curled up on the rug just inside the front door, Bitssy nodded off to the sounds of Marmalade and the big person enjoying their own space and experiencing all that was well in the sweltering tropical paradise.
Bit 9. Snot Nice
Bit 10. Hot Toast with Vegemite.
Bit 11. Off Caramel Smells Like Rotting Lime.
Bit 12. A Dog's Body
Bit 13. The Goodbye Van.
Bit 14. Caramel on Toast.
Bit 15. The Final Dreaming.
Eulogy.
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