Bit 9, Snot Nice.
Hearing young voices, close, very close, Bitssy awoke to find two beautiful children standing at the edge of her front verandah. It was the enticing children from across the road, Cindy and Matty. Cindy was tall and slim, with shoulder length chestnut hair that glistened like the dark red cherries hidden in a Christmas trifle. She had a little scar on her chin that looked like a crevice that a baby gecko might hide in.
“Ohhh, I’d like to lick that,” thought Bitssy cheerfully.
Matty was a short, wide little person, even his hair was shorter and his pants wider. He was colour coordinated with a lickable, yellow, bubbly soda stream running from his nose. Bouncy yellow plastic rings around his upper arms and poking through the top of his pants, made him look like one of the Teletubbies on television or the Incredible Hulk with yellow fever. Both of the children had pearls of twinkling soft, silver dewdrops all over their tanned bodies. They wore little clothing, just enough to cover their private parts. That's right, before Bitssy went to sleep, Marmalade had said he could see the children swimming in their pool.
Bitssy was up and panting at the screen. Her tail was on high, creating a breeze that could cool a sweltering room. The big person was cheerily talking to the children, and then the children noticed Bitssy.
"Hello Bitssy," blurted Matty excitedly, walking toward the screen door.
"Don’t let her out Matty," chided Cindy, hands on her hips, and lips making a thin straight line like she’d just sucked a lime, "she's not allowed out the front."
"It's okay, Cindy," said the big person whilst looking pointedly at Bitssy, "Bitssy is allowed out front, she just chooses not to come and join us."
Matty wiped his nose with the back of his hand and opened the screen door, just a crack. Without a moment’s thought, Bitssy pushed boldly through. She licked Matty on the hand, licked him a second time because he tasted so nice, knocked him senseless with her passionate tail and headed straight into the wet, welcoming arms of Cindy.
"Hello girl. You're beautiful. Don’t lick, don’t lick, snot nice. Want to come and play ball with Matty and me?"
Matty pulled a sodden yellow tennis ball from out of the front of his bulging swimming togs and threw it toward Cindy. Given that Cindy's arms were full of Bitssy, she luckily missed the ball and it rolled off the edge of the verandah, straight into the grimy paws of Caramel.
“Errh, Matty, didn’t you have that ball down your pants? Near your penis? Matty’s got a penis, Matty’s got a penis,” Cindy rudely teased and embarrassed Matty.
Matty hung his head and stuck his bottom lip out like a fish taking a final gasp of air. Eyes downcast, arms hanging sadly by his sides he quietly said,
“Don’t say that Cindy. I’m going to tell on you.”
Caramel didn’t care what the ball was near. She eagerly slobbered bacteria and slime all over the ball. She looked expectantly toward the children while sending a quick, sly little side winding glance of “Ha, ha, I’ll get you,” to Marmalade.
Looking down and seeing only Caramel with the ball, Matty decided that she was much worse than his sister.
"Not you, Caramel. Go home. You're a pest," he said as he sniffed a soft yellow candle back up his nose, and feeling happier already, merrily picked at the sore that was beginning to form just on the inside of his nostril.
"Yeah Caramel, you don’t live here. This is Bitssy’s and Marmalade’s yard," echoed Cindy.
Marmalade was sitting back with a grin that belonged to the Cheshire cat. "Welcome to the front world," he purred. "Welcome to a world that belongs to you. Bring your body here, buddy, and enjoy your space."
Bitssy was standing on her front verandah for the first time ever! She looked with new eyes upon the fantastic scene before her; playful children, happy and relaxed big person, and a big, fat, orange blob who looked like he'd won a sack full of rats on a chocolate wheel. Bitssy took a deep breath and was just about to woof her happy thoughts. But then, she saw Caramel. Caramel, crouched low on the ground, eyes focused on Bitssy's throat, filthy teeth exposed in a grimace, and waiting, just waiting for Bitssy to move forward.
Bit 10. Hot Toast with Vegemite.
Bit 11. Off Caramel Smells Like Rotting Lime.
Bit 12. A Dog's Body
Bit 13. The Goodbye Van.
Bit 14. Caramel on Toast.
Bit 15. The Final Dreaming.
Eulogy.
Hearing young voices, close, very close, Bitssy awoke to find two beautiful children standing at the edge of her front verandah. It was the enticing children from across the road, Cindy and Matty. Cindy was tall and slim, with shoulder length chestnut hair that glistened like the dark red cherries hidden in a Christmas trifle. She had a little scar on her chin that looked like a crevice that a baby gecko might hide in.“Ohhh, I’d like to lick that,” thought Bitssy cheerfully.
Matty was a short, wide little person, even his hair was shorter and his pants wider. He was colour coordinated with a lickable, yellow, bubbly soda stream running from his nose. Bouncy yellow plastic rings around his upper arms and poking through the top of his pants, made him look like one of the Teletubbies on television or the Incredible Hulk with yellow fever. Both of the children had pearls of twinkling soft, silver dewdrops all over their tanned bodies. They wore little clothing, just enough to cover their private parts. That's right, before Bitssy went to sleep, Marmalade had said he could see the children swimming in their pool.
Bitssy was up and panting at the screen. Her tail was on high, creating a breeze that could cool a sweltering room. The big person was cheerily talking to the children, and then the children noticed Bitssy.
"Hello Bitssy," blurted Matty excitedly, walking toward the screen door.
"Don’t let her out Matty," chided Cindy, hands on her hips, and lips making a thin straight line like she’d just sucked a lime, "she's not allowed out the front."
"It's okay, Cindy," said the big person whilst looking pointedly at Bitssy, "Bitssy is allowed out front, she just chooses not to come and join us."
Matty wiped his nose with the back of his hand and opened the screen door, just a crack. Without a moment’s thought, Bitssy pushed boldly through. She licked Matty on the hand, licked him a second time because he tasted so nice, knocked him senseless with her passionate tail and headed straight into the wet, welcoming arms of Cindy.
"Hello girl. You're beautiful. Don’t lick, don’t lick, snot nice. Want to come and play ball with Matty and me?"
Matty pulled a sodden yellow tennis ball from out of the front of his bulging swimming togs and threw it toward Cindy. Given that Cindy's arms were full of Bitssy, she luckily missed the ball and it rolled off the edge of the verandah, straight into the grimy paws of Caramel.
“Errh, Matty, didn’t you have that ball down your pants? Near your penis? Matty’s got a penis, Matty’s got a penis,” Cindy rudely teased and embarrassed Matty.
Matty hung his head and stuck his bottom lip out like a fish taking a final gasp of air. Eyes downcast, arms hanging sadly by his sides he quietly said,
“Don’t say that Cindy. I’m going to tell on you.”
Caramel didn’t care what the ball was near. She eagerly slobbered bacteria and slime all over the ball. She looked expectantly toward the children while sending a quick, sly little side winding glance of “Ha, ha, I’ll get you,” to Marmalade.
Looking down and seeing only Caramel with the ball, Matty decided that she was much worse than his sister.
"Not you, Caramel. Go home. You're a pest," he said as he sniffed a soft yellow candle back up his nose, and feeling happier already, merrily picked at the sore that was beginning to form just on the inside of his nostril.
"Yeah Caramel, you don’t live here. This is Bitssy’s and Marmalade’s yard," echoed Cindy.
Marmalade was sitting back with a grin that belonged to the Cheshire cat. "Welcome to the front world," he purred. "Welcome to a world that belongs to you. Bring your body here, buddy, and enjoy your space."
Bitssy was standing on her front verandah for the first time ever! She looked with new eyes upon the fantastic scene before her; playful children, happy and relaxed big person, and a big, fat, orange blob who looked like he'd won a sack full of rats on a chocolate wheel. Bitssy took a deep breath and was just about to woof her happy thoughts. But then, she saw Caramel. Caramel, crouched low on the ground, eyes focused on Bitssy's throat, filthy teeth exposed in a grimace, and waiting, just waiting for Bitssy to move forward.
Bit 10. Hot Toast with Vegemite.
Bit 11. Off Caramel Smells Like Rotting Lime.
Bit 12. A Dog's Body
Bit 13. The Goodbye Van.
Bit 14. Caramel on Toast.
Bit 15. The Final Dreaming.
Eulogy.
To purchase Bitss of Caramel Marmalade on Toast please visit this eBay store: Duncan's Emporium Gifts and Curios. They are selling the book at only A$12.00 plus postage. RRP is $15.00 (+ p and h)
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