Bit 5. Bitssy Gets it Good!

Bitss of Caramel Marmalade on Toast: A Chapter Each Day

Bit 5, Bitssy gets it good!


On a starlit tropical night some few weeks later, as the provoking fresh and sweet smells of frangipanis and mangos were drifting in through the screens daring Bitssy to come outside and play, an angry voice from the kitchen halted her in her stride.

"No! Do not call here again. I do not want to change telephone companies. I have told you five times already. Good bye!"

Slam went the telephone, marching went the big person, up went the music, slide went the windows, and pling went the sound of the air conditioner being turned on.

“Air conditioner!” caught on Bitssy, “Fantastic!”

Heartened by the knowledge that her big person was about to sit on the lounge for a cool cuddle, Bitssy raced to the comfy chair in front of the television. The chair that always had a semi chewed rawhide bone and was beside the antique glass cabinet with all its treasures twinkling out happily. But happy and cool was not the order of the evening.

"Not yet," snapped the usually patient and cooperative big person to Bitssy as she attempted to commandeer all of the chair, "I'm too hot!"

Shaken up and knotted on her insides by her big person's rejection, Bitssy sat, still. She felt confused by the angry tone, and cautiously watched her human’s every move. Her voice had sounded like the steam hissing and rising from hot concrete after a sudden downpour of rain. Did the big person not love her anymore? Why did her insides feel like a curdled milk shake being stirred by a thick-knotted rope? Was everything alright? Bitssy had never witnessed such ferocity, such Caramel-like scary behaviour, coming from her big person.

"I'm not going to take this," Bitssy's big person said out loud, in a rather annoyed voice. "This is my home, my space, my privacy: my barrier to the invading world. I will not have my boundaries interrupted by some pushy little man trying to get me to change phone companies. What do you think we should do Bitssy?"

Without waiting for an answer, up she got, marched back to the phone and called the company to tell them not to ever call her again.

"And I'm going to tell at least five friends not to change to you either!" Slam.

Bitssy, glued to the same spot, eyes as wide as a possum’s, was feeling really scared now. Her legs had that same jelly feeling that she got with Caramel. Her mind was racing around like a mouse on a wheel: no start, no end, and no escape. Her blood, rushing down through her body like rainwater racing for a storm drain, was cold, making her feet feel heavy and waterlogged. Inside her head a big piece of scratchy reef coral told her that things were out of place, not right.
“Stop. Stop,” she pleaded with her own fear. “You’re a Dingo. Be strong. Be fearless.”

Focusing on the way her wobbly body felt and wishing it to be as strong as steel, she reminded herself that she had no reason to fear her big person. Caramel? Yes, maybe. But her big person? No! She just needed to sort through these funny body feelings stirred up by the change in her big person. A light bulb began flickering in her mind. Bitssy glimpsed that the strange telephone situation was a little like her own fear of Caramel. Yes, that’s it! The big person did still love Bitssy, and she was just angered by something else, something threatening. Bitssy was wrongly reading the behaviour and thinking that she must have been in trouble for something she hadn’t done. The big person’s anger was meant for the man on the telephone, not for Bitssy! How could she have got is so mixed up? While Bitssy did have something to fear from Caramel, there was no real reason to fear the big person. The big person was sticking up for her rights, being assertive and strong. A Caramel alien had invaded the big person’s space and she just wasn’t standing for it.

“It’s okay,” Bitssy silently patted herself, her sides heaving in and out with short, sharp breaths. “It’s okay. You’re not in trouble.”

Bitssy had always been a deep thinker, a thinker who also loved to play, to be free, and to have friendships with everyone that she came across. There was nothing wrong with that combination. Despite Bitssy’s butterdog love of nature and play, her bottomless thinking was what really made her special. It wasn't really the way she looked, or her friendliness to everyone, animal and human. It was her amazing ability to see things for what they really were - once she slowed down a little and had a chance to think about it.

Bitssy had been thinking a lot about Caramel lately, about how Marmalade could come and go to the front yard, and survive to spit out another chewy Caramel story. There was no caramel sticking Marmalade’s teeth together though. Once he got started on the subject there was nothing holding his mouth shut. He could even word vomit about Caramel while he was eating his favourite food!

Marmalade said that he wasn't scared of Caramel because he knew that Bitssy's front yard wasn't Caramel's front yard. It was personal space that belonged to the people who lived at 222 Jensen Street. Marmalade had helped Bitssy to understand it by using the example of why big people shut the door when they went to the toilet. It was because it was their private space, just like the day they first met and Marmalade said he didn’t like people watching him when he was toileting. That’s why front yards had fences too, to tell people that it was private space. That’s why people wore clothes too, to tell others that the parts covered by clothing were private. They would not be shared with anyone at all!!!!!! Bitssy figured that her neck must be a private body part then, because she always wore a beautiful red collar. Marmalade just laughed and told Bitssy she was funny. He then went into a long boring explanation about why humans don’t like dogs sniffing their butts – it’s because humans refuse to speak animal language and they think that just by wearing pants, dogs will get the message that it is their body space, no sniffing allowed. But after checking out that you’re safe, dogs just sniff to say hello and to make friends. Wouldn’t you think the big people would let the dogs know they don’t like the butt sniffs? Like they could say: no, stop, go away. Save that sniffing for the dogs thanks! Big people use words, dogs sniff. It’s natural.

Marmalade also expertly told an outrageous story about a time he was stalking a rat for dinner. The rat, escaping with pure rat cunning, jumped from a tree and looked like it was going to land in the back of the farmer’s truck. Being quick, young, handsome and agile, Marmalade outsmarted the ratty thinking and tried to land in position first. Imagine… waiting in the back of the truck, open mouthed, as the rat dropped straight into the jaws of death! However, that damn farmer had one of those new fangled burglar alarms on his truck, the kind that went off the moment the truck was touched. So there’s Marmalade, all cool like, knowing he’s got tucker covered and the blinking alarm goes off, just as Marmalade lands in the back tray. It scares the cat out of him and he’s straight off the side and running for his life, in the opposite direction of the rat.

Why did the alarm go off? Because it was the farmer’s truck silly! He owned it and he didn’t want anyone to touch it or be in his space. Bitssy found this all too difficult to understand but she knew she wanted to be like Marmalade when she grew up: free and wise, with plenty of her own body space stories to tell!

Bitssy's mind clicked over as she thought about the similarities between Marmalade’s go where he wants behaviour and stories, filthy Caramel, and the big person's scary telephone call. And then, like a fluorescent spotlight pinpointing the darkest thought in her mind, Bitssy got it. She got it good. She understood what she had to do, and she would no longer be scared. She would be a strong body from Dog’s Body. She would turn the light on Caramel, show everyone how black she was, and let Caramel know about private body space on the front verandah of 222. She would try something different: she would use her body to speak to Caramel, to let her know that this was Bitssy’s world (and Marmalade’s and the big person’s too).

Bit 6. Clown Fish Won't Survive in Limejuice.

Bit 7. The Mellow Yellow Prophecy.

Bit 8. Poison Snake Catches a Rat on the Front Verandah

Bit 9. Snot Nice

Bit 10. Hot Toast with Vegemite.

Bit 11. Off Caramel Smells Like Rotting Lime.

Bit 12. A Dog's Body

Bit 13. The Goodbye Van.

Bit 14. Caramel on Toast.

Bit 15. The Final Dreaming.

Eulogy.

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